I’ve sat across from more than 700 families with a camera rolling. Grandparents, parents, kids, veterans, immigrants, ranchers, CEOs. Every one of them said the same thing in the first five minutes: “I don’t really have anything interesting to say.”

Every single one of them was wrong.

Here’s what I’ve learned about getting real stories out of real people.

Throw away the script. I bring a guide, not a questionnaire. The second someone feels like they’re being interviewed for a job, they clam up. You want a conversation, not a deposition. Have a direction. Don’t have a checklist.

Start with something easy and specific. Not “tell me about your childhood.” That’s paralyzing. Try “what was your house like when you were seven?” or “what did your kitchen smell like at Thanksgiving?” Sensory details unlock memories that big open questions can’t reach.

Shut up and wait. This is the hardest one. When someone pauses, your instinct is to fill the silence. Don’t. That pause is where the good stuff lives. They’re reaching for something. Give them time to find it. Some of the most powerful moments I’ve ever captured came after ten seconds of silence I had to force myself not to interrupt.

Ask “what do you mean by that?” constantly. People summarize. They’ll say “Dad was a hard man.” Okay, but what does that mean? Was he cold? Was he demanding? Did he show love in ways that didn’t look like love? The specifics are the story. The summary is just a headline.

Talk to people separately first. When you sit a married couple down together, one of them dominates and the other defers. I always start with individual interviews before bringing people together. You get completely different stories. Sometimes contradictory ones. That’s where it gets interesting.

Don’t save the hard questions for the end. By the end, people are tired. If there’s something meaningful you want to ask (about loss, regret, a tough period), work it into the middle when they’re warmed up and still have energy.

Record everything. Even the “before we start” chatter. I’ve gotten some of the best footage before people realized the camera was on. Not in a sneaky way. Just because people are most natural when they think the official part hasn’t started yet.

The biggest misconception about family interviews is that you need the right questions. You don’t. You need the right patience. The stories are already there. Your only job is to not get in the way.

If you want someone who’s done this a few hundred times to handle the hard part, that’s what Heritage Films does. We sit down with your family and pull out the stories they didn’t even know they were carrying.