Are you interested in strengthening the existing bond you have with your children? One of the best ways to do this is by examining your past/existing relationship with your father. Regardless of the nature of relationship with him, or if it was good or bad, you can still use it to improve your own bonding and parenting techniques.

As generations gradually develop down the line in families, behaviors are also passed down. If you can take the time to identify the behaviors being passed on through your family, you can essentially choose the ones to pass down to your youngsters.

Reinforcing and Passing Down Good Behavior

You can start by asking yourself what your father ever did that made you feel as though you were loved and appreciated by him. As ideas and memories come to you, write them down. Even if only 1 or 2 events come to mind, be sure to record them. Examples of questions to ask yourself are, “Were you ever greeted by your father in a way that made you feel nice? Did he make an effort to do things with you? What types of things were done? Did he show you how to do certain things, or allow you to assist him with things he needed done?

As your list grows, it will prove useful for improving your parenting technique. Adding these affectionate behaviors to your own parenting style will help your children feel valued and loved.

Avoiding and Putting a Stop to Bad Behavior

There is a second part to this exercise that might be a bit more difficult. On another list, you will write down things your father did that made you feel bad, unloved, and/or forgotten. The purpose of this exercise is not to dredge up bad memories, but to help you avoid these same behaviors in your own parenting habits.

When making this list, think of times when your father may have spoken to you in an unwanted tone. Perhaps there were times when you felt he was being cruel rather than disciplinary. Write every negative experience down that comes to mind.

As your list grows, re-read it and tell yourself these are things that you would never do to your child. Think of specific ways in which you can avoid this type of treatment. For example, maybe you can speak in different tones or discipline in a way that is free of cruelty, yet full of love. Your memories can be a wonderful point of reference, rather than just old wounds. This is how pleasant childhood memories are made after all.

Being a Great Parent

One of the most prominent questions in parenting is, “How can I be a better mother/father?” The answer is quite simply, “Always give the best in yourself to your child.” There is a whole world of experiences you can share with your child inside yourself, and perhaps you never knew until now.

The idea is to love with everything you do. Each time you speak to your child, make sure what you’re saying is being backed with a soft undertone that tells them they are loved and valued.

It is possible for any parent to completely transform their relationship with their child just by changing behaviors and replacing them with better, more positive ones.

In the distant future, your children will also likely pass down these good, positively reinforced behaviors as well. In a way, you are not only helping your children, but also children in generations down the line in your family.

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